And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
