I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
