my mouth tastes like poor choices
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Randomize
