you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
