My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
