the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
