I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
well you can't waste a boner
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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