Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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