yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
