I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
