Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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