She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I look better un-naked...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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