Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
we made out on top of his cat.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
