as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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