Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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