walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
