You just made me feel so damn special
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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