I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
