So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we're making bets on your personal life
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
