ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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