Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If that was your dad, he is hot
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Couch. On fire.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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