Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
