Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
