Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
