i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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