Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
