And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
