Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
