I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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