Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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