im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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