I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
