Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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