this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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