Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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