Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
