Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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