My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just had sex bonerless
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
