i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
