Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
