i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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