i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
