I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
