thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
