remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You can't motorboat a personality
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
