i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
