Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
