I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
