i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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