You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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